Mother’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate motherhood and show gratitude for the mother(s) in your life. Sometimes, you are the mother in the middle— you have a mom, you are a mom and your daughter is a mom. Finding balance in these celebrations can be strained sometimes. Being in the middle can be difficult; you’re pulled between the best thing to do and how can you do it for everyone, all at the same time. The difficulty is compounded if you don’t live in the same city—being together isn’t always possible.
What are your greatest challenges in the celebration of Mother’s Day?
As an adult, mine was juggling between my mom and my mother-in-law. That was tough. I always felt guilty that I couldn’t be with both and torn on where I should be. There were times when I was living out of state and felt sad I couldn’t be home, yet also relieved that I didn’t have to make choices between these two women.
Unfortunately, I lost my mother very early in my own motherhood. At the time she passed away, my first child was 18 months old. As these many years have gone by, I see the role of motherhood so differently than I did in beginning—when I was scrambling and worrying about where and with whom I should be.
I have gained so much from my relationship with my children. The biggest joy of all came when I learned to live my life without putting expectations on them. At that point, I was also able to release the expectations I had of my own mother around how I felt she should have been. Soon, I could see that all my concerns about what I should do on Mother’s Day were actually created by me.
Through this, I have a huge appreciation for the role my mother played in my life. As I looked deeper into this role, I could see the common thread across all the mothers in my life, including me and my daughters: The purest love.
Being able to see this love behind all the circumstances of our lives enabled me to see beyond all the judgments—the ones that cause mothers to be perceived as having fallen short of the expectations of themselves and as mothers, including how to be and what to do on holidays, especially Mother’s Day.
No matter how easy or difficult your relationship has been with the mothers in your life, or how you have judged yourself in this role, what if you could see it all going forward in a different light?
If you could just choose to see your relationships in the light of love, you could empower only that and not the negativity. See beyond all moments of judgment into the pure light of love; know that every mother on this planet would choose to be seen in that light, not just on Mother’s Day, but every day.
If your mother could have seen things in that light herself, she would have reflected it in each and every moment. However, in life, sometimes we don’t have the awareness we wish we did; the good news is, now that you are aware, you can always choose to see beyond the judgments and expectations. I promise you, if you do, the love will be there.
These are the things I know about me:
- I have been a good mother
- I have been a tough mother
- I have been a mean mother
- I have been a bad mother
- I have done things I would change, if I could
- I have done things I am proud of
- Most of all, I have loved every moment of being a mother for my children
I know this is at the heart of every mother.
It’s just love—that’s all that matters in the end. It matters not where you are or whom you are with; what matters is the LOVE you choose to BE. Be that light always, see that light always in yourself and others and your celebrations can take place every day.
May your Mother’s Day and all other days be just about LOVE.
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