Are you tense and emotionally stressed out? The answer for most of you is likely ‘yes’. Our lives are filled with work, family, children, and all kinds of demands. I know that I have certainly had my fair share of tense and emotionally stressed days. There is a key, however, to making the shift to a more relaxed way of being; a way to unlock the stressful emotional binds we put on ourselves.
The majority of emotional stress comes from what I call “resisting.” When you resist, every detail of your reality – your emotional state – intensifies. Every aspect of your life becomes worse, bigger, and more frightening. As a result, your stress mounts. Tension and stress are very real, visceral feelings within us. To escape the circumstances that you feel suffocating you, which is the source of your stress, I would like to propose a fresh course of action. I believe this idea might just give you a new edge on life, the kind of perspective that will have your life presented to you in a whole new light.
After a great deal of soul-searching, my perspective on life began to change dramatically. It was a slow process; a gradual change that literally saved my life. Let me share some of my journey with you. As silly as it may read, I was shocked at age 35 when I realized that I might have something to do with the way my life was going. I had been so disconnected from the creation aspect of my life. In fact, I had no idea it existed until the moment it came to me like a revelation. I lived each day as it came to me- I was stagnant. I truly saw life as if it were coming at me like a freight train. I would wake up each day with what felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders. My first thoughts were “What do I have to do to make it through today? What problems will I have to solve?” It was as if I had lost all sense of control and power over my own life. It was as if I didn’t have any say-so in how my days went. Tension and stress ruled my life. Why, you ask? Because at that time, I was facing some of the most heartbreaking and gut-wrenching moments of my life. My marriage was once again falling apart. And worse yet, after eight years of financial stability, I was completely broke and jobless with three children depending on me. Yep, you could say I was tense and stressed out. Actually, it drove me to rock bottom. Or at least that’s what I thought at the time. I was still alive, still breathing. But, I was at rock bottom.
That big hairy question- now what? The voice inside my head suddenly kept repeating like a mantra, ‘Belanie, you are the common denominator in all that you are experiencing.’ Thank God – there is a God – and His voice was loud and clear in that moment. See, that idea had never occurred to me before. Ok, stop laughing. I know it seems silly that a 35 year old woman wouldn’t be aware that she was in control of her life. But, I can honestly say that before that moment, I had felt powerless. As I said before, it was as if my life had been one stream of events that happened to me- I felt like I was a product of my environment instead of the other way around. The moment I head that voice in my mind, reminding me of the power I held, that was the tipping point for my life’s successes. Clearly, I had come to the end of my rope. As I began to dig deeper, I saw that my victim mentality had to come to an end. More importantly, I realized that it could come to an end. I began to see that life wasn’t coming at me after all- it was only my perception. I could make the turn for victory, and redeem myself.
As I progressively became more empowered by this one very important concept, I began to understand the negative effects of what had been the catalog of my limiting beliefs. The belief that life came at me and that I had no control was the most central, and the beginning of my discoveries. The more I explored my own mind, the more answers I uncovered. I began to discover things that set me from myself. My life has been irrevocably changed through this one awakening concept: “Life comes through me, not at me.”
I wish you much joy as you think through this concept. Please let me know what this concept makes you feel. For me, I live life with much, much less less emotional stress. I choose for you the same.