Mother’s Day can bring up many different emotions, including love, grief, appreciation, anger, joy, or even jealousy, and most people experience a collage of these. What if you could experience only the positive ones by removing the “need” to be a certain way and sense of obligation this Mother’s Day? What would be possible?
What would you reach for in your relationship with your mother? If you are a mother, who would you choose to be on that day—someone you sometimes wish you were for your children? Are you free to be present with everyone who matters most to you? If not, what would it be like for you to truly be with those people?
In order to have the kinds of relationships we want, we have to see that there is an aspect of empowerment we unknowingly ignore: The power we give to our thoughts and energy. When we entertain our thoughts, we give them life, believing them to be true. This affects us physically and emotionally; according to Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Every single thought you have can be assessed in terms of whether it strengthens or weakens you.”
For example, if you feel like your mom isn’t there for you like you wish she were, you may think to yourself, “Mom should be more attentive to my needs,” or “Mom shouldn’t always give me advice; sometimes I just want her to hear me.”
When we empower these thoughts, they become how we see Mom and believe she is. This belief that Mom should be a certain way defines how we experience our relationship with her. As you bring power and energy to those thoughts, they will continue to grow and impact your ability to just be with her.
Where are you putting your own energy, and what kinds of thoughts are tied to it? Are they empowering or disempowering yourself, your mom, and your relationship?
Take a moment to think about how empowerment relates to and affects your relationship with your mother. If you have children, think about how empowerment relates to them as well. For those of you struggling to become mothers, what are you empowering or disempowering within yourself?
It can be difficult to separate the person from the mom, even when that person is you. We have put so much expectation on the role of mom that I feel, in many ways, it has crippled the very purpose of who Mom is and who we are in relationship to her. It is my intention for you to awaken to the possibility that you can empower your experience with mom in a positive way by letting go of expectations.
As women spend much of their lives trying to become mothers, care for their children and perform in the role of mom, they are attempting to fulfill both the expectations they have set for themselves and those they believe others have set for them. Sadly, this usually leaves women feeling like they fall short of who they’re supposed to be.
Then, the next generation of moms wants to ensure they do things differently, but they inadvertently develop new sets of expectations for themselves. They struggle to meet these and the assumed expectations of their children, spouses, culture and society—only again to suffer through another generation of perceived failure.
The question is, how do we stop the insanity? Learning how to live free of expectations—from ourselves and others—is the key.
Through my own relationships with my four children and now nine grandchildren I see the impact of expectations over the years. It was only when I learned to remove the grip of expectations on me and the ones I imposed on my children that I could finally be with them as Mom. Ironically, being Mom—being present and emotionally free—was the only thing I ever wanted and they ever wanted of me.
Since becoming free of expectations, my relationship with my own mother, who has been deceased for over two-thirds of my life, is filled with appreciation, love and the empowerment of joy. I am now able to empower the relationship with my children from a place of discovery, getting to know them for who they are rather than through the eyes of my expectations: who I decide they are or who I think they should be. They are powerful, creative, loving human beings in their own right, and each day I see them more joyfully than the day before.
What expectations are you empowering? What could your relationship be like with your mom, stepmom, mother-in-law, children or grandchildren if you empowered your relationship differently?
Learning to live from this new place of empowerment is a blessing! May you experience the joy and peace that can fill your relationships this Mother’s Day.
If you want help in understanding more about how you can embrace empowerment through the process of releasing expectations and be free to enjoy your relationships, sign up now for our FREE teleseminar: “Embrace Your Relationship With Mom.”