Letting Go Of The Resistance.

As I cultivate my state of being an appreciator, I am acutely aware of a greater state of connection with others and the results it produces.  In my choice to know, first and foremost, that everything has great value, I am no longer resisting people nor the circumstances around me.  Appreciation is a state of being which is the exact opposite of resistance.

I have taught for years that pain and suffering is due to resistance and not to circumstances.  Additionally, being resistant always creates more resistance. I am learning that the vibration of resistance attracts more resistance.  Sort of like those old sayings…”what goes around comes around” and “what you give out you get back.”  Through my living in a state of appreciation and seeing how it defuses resistance, I am now also seeing that the vibration of appreciation is attracting like vibrations of appreciation.  People and circumstances are shifting right before my eyes.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting at a table with three other people and one of the men at the table was very worked up and expressing upset.  He wasn’t angry but rather just so worked up over the big “WHY” questions.  He was saying repeatedly, “why is stuff so hard…why can’t I just make things happen the way I want…. why, why, why,” he continued to express.  Everyone, including myself spent a great deal of time trying to give him the answers.   Of all people, I know better than this and yet I too was in the middle of his resistance.  Suddenly, I stopped.  I realized what I was doing.  It looked like I was trying to help, but in truth I was resisting him being in the state of mind that he was in.  As soon as I saw it, I stopped.  Then the change began to take place.  It was like magic right before my eyes…

First, I quietly took a very deep breath.  Then as I looked at the man I began to see all the things that I loved about him.  I began to appreciate him and appreciate where he was, how he was feeling and the value of the process he was working through.  As I appreciated him more and opened my heart, my own resistance began to disappear.  All of a sudden, he quickly turned his head to look at me.  All of his ranting and raving came to a halt.  He became teary eyed and began saying to me with a tearful laughter, “I got that, I can feel that, I can feel it from across the table.”  It was a very emotional moment for all of us at the table.  There was several moments there that I could feel the power and the energy that seemed to connect us.  I asked if he could feel that and he kept saying, “yes!”

No matter what, that cat ain’t going to bark!  Surrender to what is so.  Everything and everyone has great value.  Appreciation is the process of being present to that value.  I believe that everything can work peacefully in the absence of resistance and in the presence of appreciation!

Take time today to authentically connect with the value of others and please share with me your experiences.



  1. Belanie Dishong on December 1, 2011 at 1:14 am

    Thank you Lavernia for your comment to this blog and your reference to the content on the site. I hope that the content is valuable for you long term would hope that you return. My Best, Belanie

  2. Karen Terry on December 9, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    Wow Belanie! What a powerful story! It proves that you can change or shift someone’s mood or state of mind just by changing your own first.

  3. Roseline on November 11, 2012 at 3:22 am

    Thanks for posting this.. It’s been a pleasure to read 🙂

  4. friv on June 17, 2017 at 11:26 am

    Regarding security — I agree with you. If someone wants to break into my house, they won’t take the time to learn how to hack a digital deadbolt…they’ll just break a window. I just pray they do it when I’m on a beach somewhere, blissfully unaware, and not when I’m home with my children. 🙂

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