When The Holidays Aren’t Fun

There are many things that can seem to steal the joy from holidays.  Sometimes it’s people you dread being around, the commercialism, stress in trying to get it all done, money worries, or the feeling of being alone.  Whatever happened to the joy you felt as a child around the holidays?  That’s a good question to ask yourself…do you know you can have this joy all over again?

I know you have probably told yourself that you can’t be like a child about the holidays.  But you know what… you can!   It is possible for you to connect with the spirit of the holidays, the very spark of love, joy and excitement all over again.  Here’s how…

It’s all still there… inside of you.  If you don’t feel it now it’s just because you have turned off the feeling.  See, there is nothing outside of you that ever caused that feeling anyway…but you have spent a long time telling yourself that things outside of you have caused you to feel the way you feel.  You have told yourself you are happy because “something outside of you” has made you happy.  You think that because you have gotten older and because of life changes, your fun, love, joy and excitement have gone away.  Now you feel that people, stress, commercialism, money worries, and being alone have taken away the joy.

What if it isn’t true?  What if you can feel all that all over again?  Here’s a little experiment I want you to try…

Find a place where you will not be interrupted for about 5 minutes.

  • Set your alarm; there’s one on your cell phone so don’t make it tough.
  • Be comfortable and close your eyes.
  • In your mind’s eye I want you to connect yourself with a time when your holiday were just awesome.
  • Find one of these moments.
  • Who’s there?
  • What are you doing?
  • What does it look like around you?
  • Do you smell special smells?
  • Notice how your body feels.
  • What do you feel in your body when you feel happy?
  • What are the sensations that you connect with in your body when you are joyful?
  • Notice how vivid the pictures are in your mind’s eye.  It’s like it is happening all over again.
  • Just experience all the joy, love and excitement in the moment.

You can tap into this joy at any moment.  Why? Because you created this joy all along.  And it is possible for you to connect to it at any moment you choose.  So choose to be present to it a much as you want during this holiday season.  It is there for you to experience.  You know exactly what it feels like, and you don’t have to sit quietly to bring that experience present.  Just feel it in your heart and choose to bring it present.


  1. Karen Hagewood on December 4, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Thanks Bel.
    I just messed up coffee with a close friend and I needed to be reminded that I can “lighten” up and be present!

    • Belanie Dishong on December 4, 2012 at 3:21 pm

      Karen, wow great to hear from you. I am happy that this article could come at a good time for you. You are the best!

  2. Roseanne on December 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Lately, I’ve been feeling like I don’t have ‘Holiday Spirit’. Last week, I received a message from a dear friend that jolted some needed perspective on how to shift my thoughts about my traditions. Today, Live at Choice – Self Empowerment and Transformational Coaching, reminded how I can experience what I feel I lost a few years ago. From my heart to mind…thank you!

    • Belanie Dishong on December 4, 2012 at 3:20 pm

      Holiday Spirit is a choice and thank you for sharing your message with me. May you connect more often than not as this Holiday Season is upon us.

  3. Linda Ruff on December 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Thanks Belanie! It felt great to be baking sugar cookies with my mom in the house I grew up in.

    • Belanie Dishong on December 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm

      Linda, that is awesome. How wonderful that you could reconnect to that joy. When I read you reply, I could immediately smell the baking of snicker doodles baking. Thanks for that immediately reconnect to the joy.

  4. Brian Berry-Berlinski on December 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    through this exercise i brought myself to my parents’ house, the smell of large red candles, a crackling fireplace, and a beautiful pattering of snowflakes outside the window… soothing and relaxing memories of my cherished time with family.

    • Belanie Dishong on December 5, 2012 at 7:33 pm

      Brian, I have never had the opportunity to see one single snow flake on Christmas Day…may by sweetheart will take me to snow next Christmas. Maybe it would be fun for you to sit with your children and Michael to share with them the times your remember the most about being a child at Christmas. I don’t I ever heard my parents share those times. Start now while they are young. Glad you had those special moments relived!

  5. Michele Scism on December 4, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Oh great post! I went to my grandma’s Christmas party. Gumbo on the stove, green sherbert punch on the snack table and my family dancing to the Christmas music! Everyone laughing and playing.

    • Belanie Dishong on December 5, 2012 at 7:41 pm

      Yummy, Gumbo on the stove and WOW, green sherbert punch. Michele, shopping for Thanksgiving food to prepare Michael, my oldest son said, “Oh mom, let’s get some green sherbert and make that awesome punch you used to make. You do remember it don’t you mom?” I laughed out loud in the middle of the supermarket. But you now what? I thought to myself that was the low budget days for punch parties and finger sandwiches. Interesting that both of you are thinking of those days with pleasant memories…maybe it’s time to get back to some of the basics in life. Let’s make some soon! I tear up at the thought of just experiencing once again…some of those younger days of green sherbert punch and finger sandwiches. Maybe I’ll have a little party for all my grandchildren. Thanks for the memories Michele.

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