Today I will be talking about dealing with conflict. I realize that it’s not comfortable to be in the middle of upsets. With that said, how do you deal with yourself and others in the middle of a conflict? I suppose several things can occur when trying to come to agreements. You can try to reach a peaceful resolution, removing or reducing conflict between parties or you can come to the realization that the situation is there to stay and work to minimize the effects of the conflict.
I was meeting with my advanced group members a few weeks ago, and we were discussing how one deals with conflict and conflict resolution, finding a resolution that brings about the desired results.
I asked the participants, “What do you do when the conflict seems like something that’s not gonna get resolved? Do you hold on to your position to be right? How do you behave when you are in the midst of a problem?”
I got all kinds of answers. Some said they try to address the problem head on with the intention of coming to a peaceful resolution. Others said they just completely shut down and go away. And yet others said they hang in for the win.
For our conversation it’s not that important, really, that the conflict is going on. But what is important is how you act during the conflict. If you cannot be at peace and removed from the need to get your side heard, then you’re always struggling to be heard and trying to make sure that you are coming up with the right position, or at the very least that you are going to come out on the winning end with as few bumps and bruises as you possibly can.
Towards the end of the meeting someone gave this awesome insight that I want to share with you. This is the key to dealing with conflict and obtaining conflict resolution.
He shared, we should remember to take into account how much we care for the person whom we are upset with and our relationship with that person. Additionally, we should see that person as if they were a child.
So I asked, “Would you have this kind of a conflict with a little child?” And the answer is no. You would find a way to see them and love them no matter what. You would not be as caught up in the middle of the conflict.
Here are some steps you can take that will help you remove yourself from the upset, the conflict, and come to the place where the conflict can be resolved peacefully.
#1. Ask yourself – what’s more important, my relationship with this person, or the issue?
#2. Can I let go of being right?
#3. Is my relationship more important than being right?
#4. If this was a precious child, how would I interact in this place of conflict?
$5. Choose to communicate in all circumstances from this place.
So the next time you have a disagreement with anyone, take a breath, choose to ask yourself those questions, open your heart and approach the resolution from that place.
I guarantee you will find a way to be free of the conflict, and it becomes a place of peace. Try it on and let me know how it works for you!
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