Black Dot / Pink Dot Telling On Me

Have you ever looked at your reactions to certain situations and wondered why you reacted the way you did? I tell you there is always a lesson to be learned when analyzing your own behavior. From there, you can either give the lesson the attention it deserves and try to grow from it, or you can ignore it altogether.

One of the things I love most about my work is that it keeps me honest.  More to the point, it keeps me honest with myself. One of the commitments I’ve made to myself is to live a life free from my ego, as painful as it may seem at times. To develop your own credo is one thing, but it’s something much more difficult to share that credo with others who will then have the ability to hold you accountable for living accordingly. For me, sharing the commitments I’ve made to myself with those around me is liberating. I’ve found that I’m able to learn more from life and to experience greater freedom.  When I share with others about the lessons I learned, it allows them the freedom to see themselves in a more authentic light. My commitment is all about living big, and by that I mean living a life full of genuine relationships, as well as business and financial success.

So here goes one of my most recent lessons. I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with Iman and Afrin Kahn at their incredible Red Elephant Conference in Puerto Rico this past week. I left the conference on such an incredible high. It was unbelievable to see the degree of transformation that took place for the attendees. It was wonderful to feel like I had brought a special element to the conference through serving as a member of the team.

I left Puerto Rico, and took off to join Michele Scism with Take Action Get Profits at the Suzanne Evans and Larry Winget Hell Yeah! Star conference in Atlanta.  By the time I arrived on Saturday afternoon, the conference was already 1.5 days in action. It was my first time attending one of Suzanne’s events, and they are packed with value and lots of “work” get done. Everything an attendee does during the curriculum of the event is tracked. The last day of the event, people were ranked and then placed in one of two categories: “Black Dots” or “Pink Dots.” Those who received a black dot received a special offer, whereas those who were labeled with a pink dot received an offer albeit not a “special” offer. All attendees’ actions were evaluated based on their level of participation and “readiness” for a higher level of coaching from Suzanne and her team.

Which dot did I receive?  Yep… I got a PINK DOT.  OMG for me, this was like not getting picked for the best team. Although I was very clear on the reason I could not be in the Black Dot group, it didn’t matter to me. The fact that they had no way to measure my level because there was not enough information to evaluate me, given I had arrived halfway in the conference. It absolutely ate me up inside. I knew why I hadn’t been placed in the black dot group, but other people had no way of knowing the reasoning, and that was too much for me to take. To me, every “black dot” who was escorted to their special place for their special offer had walked past me thinking, “she’s not up to par.” The reality was that no one cared… but me.

In the same week, I had experienced life from completely opposite ends of the spectrum. I was in the bliss of success one day, then the next day I felt like I was “lesser than.” In retropect, this taught me an important lesson; I was blessed to experience this turn of events.

Because I am redirected inward to explore the reason for what I experience in life, I am grounded on even a deeper level. I asked myself this: Am I willing to be the one in the room who is not picked? The only one in the room not picked and the entire world knows it. And the answer is yes. I am now willing to ALWAYS BE NOT PICKED.  I am willing for everyone to know that I am not picked.

Though I was unaware, ego had played a role in both experiences of bliss and pain. I am a commitment to live free of ego. I am so grateful for the experiences I had which so deeply contrasted each other. Now, I can see there is no “Black Dot/Pink Dot” and “doing something really well,” there is only JUDGMENT. And judgment comes from the need for measurement; it robs one of the pleasure of being present to the gift each moment brings.

Can you relate?  Have you wondered what it would be like to live free of judgment?