Black Dot / Pink Dot Telling On Me

Have you ever looked at your reactions to certain situations and wondered why you reacted the way you did? I tell you there is always a lesson to be learned when analyzing your own behavior. From there, you can either give the lesson the attention it deserves and try to grow from it, or you can ignore it altogether.


One of the things I love most about my work is that it keeps me honest.  More to the point, it keeps me honest with myself. One of the commitments I’ve made to myself is to live a life free from my ego, as painful as it may seem at times. To develop your own credo is one thing, but it’s something much more difficult to share that credo with others who will then have the ability to hold you accountable for living accordingly. For me, sharing the commitments I’ve made to myself with those around me is liberating. I’ve found that I’m able to learn more from life and to experience greater freedom.  When I share with others about the lessons I learned, it allows them the freedom to see themselves in a more authentic light. My commitment is all about living big, and by that I mean living a life full of genuine relationships, as well as business and financial success.


So here goes one of my most recent lessons. I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with Iman and Afrin Kahn at their incredible Red Elephant Conference in Puerto Rico this past week. I left the conference on such an incredible high. It was unbelievable to see the degree of transformation that took place for the attendees. It was wonderful to feel like I had brought a special element to the conference through serving as a member of the team.


I left Puerto Rico, and took off to join Michele Scism with Take Action Get Profits at the Suzanne Evans and Larry Winget Hell Yeah! Star conference in Atlanta.  By the time I arrived on Saturday afternoon, the conference was already 1.5 days in action. It was my first time attending one of Suzanne’s events, and they are packed with value and lots of “work” get done. Everything an attendee does during the curriculum of the event is tracked. The last day of the event, people were ranked and then placed in one of two categories: “Black Dots” or “Pink Dots.” Those who received a black dot received a special offer, whereas those who were labeled with a pink dot received an offer albeit not a “special” offer. All attendees’ actions were evaluated based on their level of participation and “readiness” for a higher level of coaching from Suzanne and her team.


Which dot did I receive?  Yep… I got a PINK DOT.  OMG for me, this was like not getting picked for the best team. Although I was very clear on the reason I could not be in the Black Dot group, it didn’t matter to me. The fact that they had no way to measure my level because there was not enough information to evaluate me, given I had arrived halfway in the conference. It absolutely ate me up inside. I knew why I hadn’t been placed in the black dot group, but other people had no way of knowing the reasoning, and that was too much for me to take. To me, every “black dot” who was escorted to their special place for their special offer had walked past me thinking, “she’s not up to par.” The reality was that no one cared… but me.


Sad little girl sitting excluded by the other kids


In the same week, I had experienced life from completely opposite ends of the spectrum. I was in the bliss of success one day, then the next day I felt like I was “lesser than.” In retropect, this taught me an important lesson; I was blessed to experience this turn of events.


Because I am redirected inward to explore the reason for what I experience in life, I am grounded on even a deeper level. I asked myself this: Am I willing to be the one in the room who is not picked? The only one in the room not picked and the entire world knows it. And the answer is yes. I am now willing to ALWAYS BE NOT PICKED.  I am willing for everyone to know that I am not picked.


Though I was unaware, ego had played a role in both experiences of bliss and pain. I am a commitment to live free of ego. I am so grateful for the experiences I had which so deeply contrasted each other. Now, I can see there is no “Black Dot/Pink Dot” and “doing something really well,” there is only JUDGMENT. And judgment comes from the need for measurement; it robs one of the pleasure of being present to the gift each moment brings.


Can you relate?  Have you wondered what it would be like to live free of judgment?



  1. Geri Davison on December 5, 2013 at 8:41 am

    Human…..that is a tough situation that you were in but you learned instead of being sucked in. My new awareness will help me in similar situations so I too can live in the moment….judgment free!
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. cz on December 5, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    I feel you, so much. Thank you for sharing. It helps to know others are going through the same thing.

  3. Jena Rodriguez on December 5, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    Fantastic! You have inspired me to get real about what I was feeling in Puerto Rico at the Red Elephant event that we both attended; I was “invisible” and a “loser.” I saw two sides of me during that event. First side was one of ego…I was worried about what to say in front of a room of strangers if I were to stand up at the mic and share my thoughts. I was over-analyzing and creating a “story” about how I was being perceived in the room, especially because I was an outsider and did not know most of the attendees. The second side of me was the higher self (or my observer)…I stayed present to these feelings and thoughts and didn’t resist them although they were painful at times. Half way through the second day of the event, I was clear that I had to make a move if I wanted to engage in the event fully and grow from my experience their.

    I noticed that I had two choices: 1) stay “invisible” and not stand up at the mic, not participate fully because of my EGO. OR 2) just get up and go to the mic and say something to the room and GET REAL about how I was feeling and be willing to be vulnerable in front of a room of so called strangers.

    So I chose #2! I was not about to waste another single moment with what you call the “pity committee” in my head and certainly not miss the opportunity to get visible in a room of people (I was of course there to grow my business; but I was playing small)

    Once I stopped over thinking and got up to the mic, I shared my vulnerability and ultimately, it set me free and unexpectedly made a huge impact to people in the room. A few of those individuals were kind enough to walk up to me after I spoke at the mic and share that magic with me. I then realized that I am doing a HUGE disservice for not only myself, but potentially others by playing small and letting ego win. I know I made a difference to AT LEAST ONE PERSON that day by sharing my story and THAT is what it is all about for me…making a difference to someone.

    Thank you Belanie for what you do and how you have changed my life. I would have stayed in EGO had I not been a forever client of yours. BIG HUG!!!

  4. Donna on December 5, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    Living free of judgement is what Access Consciousness is all about. It isn’t always easy to do, but once you remind yourself you don’t have to judge yourself, life is easier and happier! Good job!

    • Belanie Dishong, Your Belief Changer on December 6, 2013 at 2:38 pm

      Thanks, I couldn’t agree with you more, Donna. The secret to the journey is to discover the source of the NEED for someone to judge oneself or judge others. Discovery of the source of judgment leads to freedom forever.

      The situation I share in this blog is twofold:

      1) it is a typical reaction that occurs for people

      2) it is a totally different opportunity when someone has the awakened consciousness to be aware and observe what is taking place, and be equipped with the tools to locate the internal source to the judgment. When done, that self-discovery eliminates future occurrences of judgment around the same issue. The need for self-reminders becomes no longer necessary. I believe that self monitoring is a form of resistance, and I am all about freedom from resistance. I love this journey of developing consciousness.

      Thanks for your share, Donna.

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