Overbearing and overpowering, this nasty thing called “upset” can really wreck havoc on our lives. I know personally when I am in “upset” I experience these very same feelings. Feelings you may very well be experiencing for yourself in this moment. More often than not, upset takes on a life of it’s own for ourselves and/or our family and friends that may be in the midst of upset themselves. Today, Id like to share 4 easy steps how you can walk yourself or others through the upset and into peace, joy and empowerment.
Distinguishing What’s So….
One of the really important things to keep in mind about resolving upsets is to be able to distinguish the difference between fact and fiction. The fiction is that part of the story we tend to embellish. Its the part of the story we tell ourselves or others that supports our narrative. It’s also a main component in what keeps us in the state of upset. When we are able to distinguish between the fat and the fiction of an upset, we are able to more clearly see what we need to do to take actions to get our desired results.
Request, Don’t Assume…….
When it comes to supporting a friend or family who is in the midst of upset, or if you are in upset with someone else, it is important to request permission to talk about the upset. It’s important that you don’t just jump in and try to “fix” the issue for them. By simply taking the approach of asking for permission (and it can be as simple as saying “hey, would you like to talk about this?) you are able to disengage their current upset and help to reduce their ongoing story and building of that story into larger upset.
Once Given Permission, Ask This Simple Question…
“What do you REALLY want the outcome to be?” Typically they are in reaction to the circumstances. Try to get them to see below the surface and see the truth into what is two to three layers below the surface of whats currenting taking place. When we are in upset, we tend to react. And rarely is our reaction the desired result we wish to have with the person(s) or thing(s) we are in upset about.
Share With Them The Distinction Between Fact and Fiction…..
Start at the beginning of their story. Your job as a friend your job is to listen to distinguish the facts from what they have made up and /or embellished. As a friend or outside observer without attachment to the outcome, you are able to see things from an outside perspective and distinguish between the facts of the situation -vs- the fiction and story that is being made up. When you are able to break down what’s real -vs- whats being “added” you are better able to help your friend or loved one go after the desired results. When you are able to break the story apart, you are able to get to the facts and the truth and end the cycle of upset.
Join me on my Creating Mindsets for Success Tour and see how these steps and others in our programs can help you and your loved ones live a more joyous and abundant life.