I have certainly had plenty of times in my life that I have asked myself that very question. What is wrong with me? I could clearly see that others did a much better job in their relationships than I did. I tried everything.
I tried telling myself –
- It’s ok, I just keep picking the wrong guys.
- It’s not my fault.
- Someday I will get it right.
I bet you have told yourself some of the same kinda stuff. If you are anything like me, then what happens is that none of the self soothing, attempts at self-talk changed a thing. I just kept covering it up with the next relationship and never seemed to get it right.
I found reason after reason why the relationships weren’t working for me. Oh and let me tell you, each and every one of those reasons were totally validated with evidence that they…and I repeat, THEY, were the problem. Oh sure, along the way I began to tell myself that “it takes two to tango.” In other words, taking “some of the blame.”
From age 18-35 I had flown through 5 marriages and divorces. Devastated in my failures, it finally got the best of me. I soon saw that there was one common thread through all of these broken relationships. ME – ME – ME – ME – AND ME. That was earth-shaking. An awakening beyond awakenings. I then began a huge inner search on “what on Earth was going on within me, of which I was not aware?” What was the driving force behind my choices?
- There must be something that drives my choices that I am not aware of.
- I began to see patterns in my thinking that were consistent throughout all the relationships.
- I chose to stop blaming – them and myself.
- I completely forgave myself.
Through these discoveries I reached a place of pure inquiry. I was lead by self-prayer to very powerful inquiry. It was through these inquiries that I could see exactly what drove my choices, what made me so desperate to be in and out of the marriages. From there I could see the steps necessary to get free of the beliefs that led me into such relationship disasters.
- I am in a relationship of 32+ years with my husband of 29 yrs.
- We re-create our relationship each and every day.
- I created a system that helps others have the same.
- I get to live my life’s purpose by sharing the process that has made my life successful alongside others seeking the same.
I offer to you that all the answers you seek are within you. God has put them in you and you can access them. Here are a few steps to get you started if you truly want to change the way relationships are for you.
Get You Started
- Ask yourself, are you ready for things to be different?
- Decide to only look at you for the answers – not the other person.
- It’s all about a new relationship with you – so forgive yourself for all of it.
- Let go of blame…all of it.
These steps will begin to allow you to hear the next steps. You must first stop the cycle of blame, upset and trying to fix without even knowing what the causes are. I will tell you this, the causes ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK THEY ARE. TRUST ME….I KNOW.
Let me help you, I have a class that takes these steps into practical use and changes will take place in your life. (click here for more.)